Pubs in Borough – a choice between a bucket of shite and a slab of gold

August 7, 2009 at 22:38 (Pub review) (, , , , , )

Just got in from my local – the Monkey Balls. It was a short one tonight as Fat Malcolm put out the electrics again – time after time we tell him not to warm his pies in the fuse box, but does the obese fucker listen?

Anyway, before I settle down for the night in front of Babestation, I’ve turned my attention to tomorrow evening and the problem of finding a decent pub in Borough. Its a tricky one as the choice in this plush area of the capital is between two extremes, typified by two pubs a thrown midgets distance apart.

On the one hand you have the Shite and Lettuce, part of the chain which proves in my opinion that Satan has the world firmly by the jaffers. Recently reviewed the Borough outlet on beerinthevening and as I say this is one of the better examples of the brand, but its still piss poor. The original interior of the building – which looks rather good –  is buried under the wank glamour of bog standard fittings and furnishings that have clearly been farted out of some poor, gigantic elephant that they have chained up somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, as I said in a previous post, there are legitimate reasons why Spunk and LambShit and its hunchback cousin All Bar Crap are driving many independent pubs into the ground – they do food, combos and drinks that cater for a profitable market. Its a market of wankers of course, but then there are a lot of wankers out there. Just take a look at the Tory frontbench next time you catch the news.

Still if you have a choice between joining the muppet brigade and drinking at somewhere like the Southwark Tavern, surely its a no brainer. Here is a place of class. A well run establishment with a wide variety of booze set in an unblemished, original interior spread over two spacious floors linked by a spiral-ish staircase leading to a row of quirky cell partitions down. Yes, it can be packed in tighter that Lucy Pinder’s chesticles in a sports top, but if you want a real experience in Borough then this is the place to go.

So thats my top tip for drinking in Borough. Im off for a pot noodle and a … yeah, you can guess the rest.

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